Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Weekend woes and wins

It's been hot and humid all weekend. I've got a lurgi that comes with a sore throat, headache, shakiness and mild nausea - every time I try and do anything other than sit on the lounge I end up a gasping, sweaty, can't stand unsupported mess. We've gone nowhere and done nothing except housework and I had to argue with David to convince him to watch Blade Runner with me. It's doing my head in I tell you! And my sore throat is putting paid to any serious singing practice.

On the other hand, my dog is cuddly and cute, the air-con works, my kids and husband bring me hot and cold drinks when I ask them to. I had lots of dvds to watch and all the clean clothes got folded as I sat on the lounge watching the end of season 6 of Lost. Don't ask, it was a can't look away from the train wreck thing, Adam kept having to leave the room in order to protect the TV.

The reason I was forcing David to watch Blade Runner is that he has to pick a sci-fi movie to prepare a presentation on for English. Of course all he's thinking of is "PRESENTATION  - ARRGH! Run for the hills!" I, meanwhile, am thinking "Cool! English assignments are so much better than when I was at school. Let's watch ALL THE MOVIES!" So, 10 Mum points for enthusiasm, not so many for practicalities. I think we'll watch Serenity next. What? Isn't that what kids are for, to project one's own obsessions on and live vicariously through?

I had planned to cook shepherd's pie tonight. I was lacking enthusiasm for the idea until I pulled up my recipe post from a couple of years ago, now I reckon I might be sufficiently motivated by the prospect of evoking another burst of praise from Tom:
"Smashed potato! Ooo, I LOVE smashed potato! Mum, that's just the way I remember you making shepherds pie. I LOVE your shepherds pie, it's the BEST!"

"You do know it tastes different every time I make it 'cause I don't use a recipe, don't you?"

"Yes, that's what I like best about it, you never know what you're going to get!"


I'll report back if there's a good response tonight!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Kids, ruining photos for decades

Way to ruin the photo 10 year old me!
Aunty Liz, my Dad, my Mum, Grandma, Grandpa, me,
Uncle Bruce, Aunty Faye, Warwick, Emma, Rebecca and Martin.
(Uncle Rob presumably took the photo.)
At Epping c.1980

I'm always complaining to my kids that they're ruining photos by making stupid faces in them, but I sort of like this photo. Nice one, ten year old me!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Dried leaves in boiling water...

...an exercise in associative blogging.

Tea.

My Nanna (Dad's mum), who I remember as teaching me to drink tea - no sugar, a bit of milk, strong and hot.

Breathing in the steam from the mug, cupped in cold hands, sitting around a campfire at night. So many glorious camping holidays with my family and my mum's twin sister's family when I was a kid.

Yum cha, the brew getting stronger as the meal progresses until the pot is refilled and it goes back to hot water lightly tinged with colour and flavour.

The ritual of Grandma's teapot, readied before every meal and filled with boiling water as dessert was finished, the cosy tucked around it, and cups of tea poured when perfectly brewed.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and the cup of something that was almost but not quite entirely unlike tea which was all poor Arthur could get out of the Nutrimatic drinks dispenser.

Cold tea being used as a burns treatment in one of the Sue Barton books.

The Swallows and Amazons were always drinking tea; Lucy had tea with Tumnus the faun; Bilbo drank tea with Gandalf; the Mad Hatter had a tea party; Bunyip Bluegum, Sam Sawnoff and Bill Barnacle brewed tea in a billy to have with the puddin'; and there's nothing better than sitting down with a nice hot cup of tea and a good book.

Standing at the bus stop waiting to go to school in the morning with my cup of tea, the bus stop was right by our letterbox, when I finished my tea I'd put the empty mug in the letterbox and retrieve it when I got home in the afternoon. I once dropped and broke a favourite mug (given to me by my best friend Rowena) juggling too many belongings while trying to open the front door.

Tom reaching for my mug of hot tea from his perch on my left hip at maybe 9 or 10 months old and demanding his share of it before it got cold. Asbestos mouth that child.

Sitting on our front deck with my gardener, drinking tea and listening to tales of him growing up on a farm in South Africa and becoming a cheesemaker and eventually emigrating to Australia. He's moved up to the Central Coast now and has passed the Sydney part of his business on to his son. They're both lovely people but the son sends minions rather than coming himself (he's also living on the Central Coast) and I'm not at home as much so the tea break with the gardeners isn't happening any more.

Comfort, the cure for all ills. Peppermint tea for morning sickness (or rather morningnoonandnight sickness as it was), chamomile for sleep, English Breakfast tea for fueling up for the day, Earl Grey tea at night.

Watching Star Trek with Adam and wrangling cups of tea from each other with humerous orders "Tea, Earl Grey, hot. Make it so?"

Smoko at the shearing sheds when I went on a Scripture Union Agriculture camp during school holidays in year 7. It's called a smoko but it's really all about the mugs of tea. And the enormous trays of slab cake. I rode a pony bareback (and fell off) and drove a car across a paddock on that camp too. Then sprained my ankle so badly I couldn't walk for several days because I tried to chase sheep over rough ground wearing gum boots. My friend Rowena carried me piggy-back from the paddock back to where the camp staff were.

My kids bringing me cups of tea when they see I'm stressed or upset. On Wednesday night after Caitlin's dance concert this week I was so exhausted and strung out that when we got home I collapsed on the lounge and cried a little. Next thing I knew I had two cups of tea, both Caitlin and David had independently made one for me. I drank them both.

Drinking tea with my Mum and my brother on Saturday night. We sat at the kitchen table at my Mum's place after having left Grandma's room at the nursing home. We talked and cried a little and remembered and smiled and even laughed a little.

Tea.

Dried leaves in boiling water.


50 Things post No.18

This isn't quite a usual Friday Fragments style of post, not least because it doesn't just cover the last week - more like the last 40 years - but it's certainly fragmentary and it does include a couple of bits from the week just gone, so I'm linking up anyway. Don't forget to visit all the other fabulous fragmenters too!

Mommy's Idea
Hosted by Mrs4444.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

100 years - a life

This piece was written by my very wonderful Aunty Liz. Liz is my Mum's twin sister and our family historian, she has self-published a series of books about various branches of the family and I've very much enjoyed reading them all. My cousins Cameron and Rebecca read this out at Grandma's funeral on Tuesday and as I listened I thought I really wanted to share the story with my readers. Liz has very kindly given me permission to publish it here. I've added some photos (mouse-over for captions) from a slideshow that Liz also put together for the funeral.

Gladys Adam 1911 12 months

Gladys Joy Adam was born on 20 November 1910 in West Maitland, fifth child of Arthur Adam and Jane Montgomery who married in Newcastle in 1901. Arthur worked as a telegraphist for the NSW Government Railways. His family had been living in the Hunter River area for 60 years before he married Jane, who was born in Irvine, Scotland.

Jane & Arthur Adam

Glad was born in the age of early aviation when planes were made of canvas and piano wire and were called flying machines. She lived long enough to travel on jumbo jets. In the years before World War One, the style of life was very much 19th Century. Glad remembered the lamp lighter lighting the gas lamps in Wallace Street, West Maitland. Few townspeople had their own horse drawn transport let alone a car so generally the family moved as far as they could walk, which wasn’t a great distance by the time the eighth child was born.

In the meantime WW1 intervened and Glad remembered waving to the soldiers as the troop trains passed the end of Wallace Street. She was fortunate that the toll in human misery had little impact on her own family. Her uncle Oswald enlisted and served for four years on the Western Front but returned relatively unscathed.

Occasionally Arthur would hire a sulky on a Sunday and take some of the children for an outing around Maitland. There were occasional excursions by train to Newcastle on Sundays to visit both the paternal and maternal grandparents at Wickham and Linwood. There were also fondly recalled memories of holidays at Careys Bay, Lake Macquarie and in the Blue Mountains to which the family travelled by steam train. Glad’s love of travel remained with her throughout her life.

Grandma aged 14 years 1924

Education was narrow in Primary School, knowledge of the railway stations, rivers and other facts were learned by rote but Glad’s handwriting, until the end, was copperplate and she could recite lengthy poems learnt at school. She completed her Certificate of Proficiency at the West Maitland Superior Public School in 1925 then did an additional year to earn her Third Year Certificate in 1926, doing English, Business Principles and Book Keeping, Arithmetic, Shorthand and Typing. Unwillingly, she had to leave school at 15, just before the Adam family moved to Goulburn.

Grandma at school

Adam family in Goulburn c1950s

Career opportunities were minimal, especially after the onset of the Great Depression but with her office skills and experience in a succession of jobs, Glad was able to move on to a responsible position as a proficient book keeper for 12 years at the Baxter Shoe Factory in Goulburn, virtually doing the work of an accountant until she was 30 years old. If she had been born even 20 years later, Glad would have enjoyed the opportunities available to married women in the workplace but she was always content with her life and, as social and economic changes evolved, she felt sorry for women who had to juggle the responsibilities of home and employment.

Baxters Shoes factory

However, through her work for the Presbyterian Church, Glad found satisfying opportunities to use her skills. She had been baptised into the church at West Maitland on 4 January 1911 at six weeks of age and throughout her life was an active participant in church organisations, teaching Sunday School, leading fellowship groups and in later life being active in Presbytery and state wide committees, taking office, organising events and writing reports and newsletters. Her typewriter was put to constant use. She received recognition and many accolades for her efforts.

Studebaker

Glad made trips with the various Goulburn church groups to Sydney and other destinations. Added to her childhood holiday experiences, it fostered her curiosity and desire to travel. When she was about 19 and working in the office of Milligens, a Goulburn garage, she would hire a Studebaker or Buick for the day with the mechanic, her friend Bob Gudgeon, as the driver. They explored the local area from Bundanoon to Cotter Dam near the fledgling city of Canberra. In the 1930s Glad saved up for annual trips within NSW and interstate trips to Tasmania and Queensland by sea with her friends. Despite the Great Depression, the girls dressed well as photos testify. Her elegance was captured on her Box Brownie on many an occasion.

Grandma aged 21 yearsGrandma riding, Goodnight Island 1937

Grandma & Nell McNaught 1935Grandma (far left) & friends, Terrigal 1938

Glad met Ted Whitfield, a Sydney boy, in the Goulburn Presbyterian Fellowship in 1933.

Jim Anderson Glad & TedGrandma and Grandpa far left 1930s

They waited seven years to marry due to his part-time study at Sydney University, and then they settled at Manly.

Gladys and Ted at their weddingGrandma & Grandpa Manly 1942

But after only a year, Ted felt it was his duty to enlist in the 2nd AIF and they were parted for another four years. Glad’s two brothers Bill and Jim also enlisted so they were worrying times. The three Whitfield children were born during the war and, while Ted was serving in the army, like many newly married women in the same circumstances, Glad moved in with her in-laws at Earlwood. Also living there were Ted’s sister, aunt and grandmother.

Grandma & Aunty Faye 1943

When Ted returned from the war, to a household of seven females, he was a stranger to Faye who was three and the twins who were six months old and it was another year before Glad and her family had the house in Wardell Road to themselves. They were difficult years.

Whitfield family c 1949Whitfield family at Marrickville

The two post war decades were devoted to looking after the children and the home. In 1952, the acquisition of a Hillman Minx car created opportunities for weekend outings, visits to relatives and occasional holidays. Glad learnt to drive at 42 years of age and also found time for more social and devotional activities through the Earlwood Presbyterian Church. She took on responsibilities in the local Women’s Guild (PWA) as well as on NSW committees, especially the State Council and the Home Mission Standing Committee on which she served for 20 years. She was the editor of the Home Mission Committee newsletter for a long period and a Convener.

After moving to Essex Street Epping in 1975, Glad and Ted joined a broader range of organisations within the Epping Presbyterian Church which included the Camera Club, the Friendship Club, a Bible Study group and indoor bowls. She continued to be an active participant in the church until she was 90 years old. When she was no longer able to contribute her time, she continued to generously contribute financially to many charities, especially the Bible Society.

Glad and Ted had wonderful years during his retirement, frequently travelling overseas and within Australia. They were among the first Australian tourists who went to China in 1972. They travelled extensively in Britain and Europe, explored Canada, the United States, India, Israel, South Africa and New Zealand. Many friendships were forged in those years and memories were treasured.

Grandma & Grandpa with my cousin Warwick Feb 1974

Glad lost her mate in 1989 but proved to be a very independent woman in the years after Ted’s death. Physical frailty forced her to leave her Epping home at 90 years of age but she enjoyed living at Leisure Lea Retirement Village for over seven years. As life’s experiences contracted, she had a stoic, accepting and uncomplaining attitude. Until the end, she was a continual support to her family, always interested in their lives, sympathetic in the difficult times and she encouraged them in their aspirations.

In the kitchen at Essex Street 2001

In Glad’s last years, a lot of pleasure was gained from reading and watching documentaries and various drama series. Having the capacity to manage some modern technology, anything she missed was available to her on DVD. She enjoyed her virtual ‘travels’, her travel diaries and took a lively interest in the world.

Grandma after yet another scrabble gameGreat Grandma and the kids

There were other past-times such as reading the Sydney Morning Herald, completing the Crossword, playing Scrabble, and she consistently won the weekly Word Games at Shalom, even as recently as two weeks before her death.

Grandma doing the SMH crossword puzzleGrandma's winnings

She appreciated the loving care of the staff at Shalom who made her life bearable even when she lost her independence completely. Despite that, Glad was looking forward to celebrating her 100th birthday on Saturday with us all but it was not to be. She lived for 99.98 years. It was a long life and a life well lived.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Making plans for the week ahead, anyone for craft?

Menu plan:
Monday - spag bol
Tuesday - mango chicken curry and rice
Wednesday - sushi
Thursday - homemade pizza
Friday - prosciutto wrapped pork fillet baked on red onion and apple, with mashed potato and baby spinach salad
Saturday - steak, jacket potato, corn on the cob and salad
Sunday - roast leg of lamb with baked veggies

The schedule:
Monday - at home while solar hot water is installed (unfinished due to rain), Caitlin's singing and Tom's drama lessons this arvo, Adam's mum coming for dinner.

Tuesday - 9am doctor's appt for me, squeeze in some work maybe, 2pm funeral, 6pm my singing lesson and 7:45pm a P&C meeting. Plus Adam leaving in the afternoon for a week in the UK. Err. Not sure if all this is possible.

Wednesday - 7:30am band practice for Tom, day at the office for me, Caitlin's dance concert at night.

Thursday - Nothing. And it's staying that way. (So I can clean, do grocery shopping, wash clothes...yay?)

Friday - 8am school dance practice for Caitlin, day at the office for me, nothing in the afternoon.

Saturday - outing with the kids in the morning (where/what to be determined), Caitlin's second dance concert at night.

Sunday - come hell or high water I'm making some jewellery! If anyone would like to join me for a craft afternoon you're very welcome.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Saying goodbye

On Saturday evening I had a phone call from my mum. She was ringing to tell me my grandma had just died. Mum had arrived to visit Grandma at the nursing home at about 5:30pm and had been unable to wake her. By 7:30pm Grandma was gone.

The night before Mum and Dad had spent some time with Grandma, she'd been very sleepy and had trouble talking but was able to appreciate the visit. On Saturday morning the nurses say she managed to drink a little for breakfast and again for lunch, then she drifted into unconsciousness and didn't wake again.

We weren't expecting her to go quite this quickly, the staff had been talking in terms of a few days. I'm glad for her though, she'd had enough and she was in pain and suffering. This peaceful end was what she wanted.

I went to join Mum at the nursing home, my brother came too, and we said our goodbyes. Then Martin and I came back to Mum's place with her and sat and talked for a while.

We won't be having a 100th birthday party next Saturday, instead, a little earlier in the week, we will celebrate the life of a very special woman, daughter, sister, wife, mother, great grandmother, friend, traveller, good cook, scrabble player extraordinaire and voracious reader, my much loved Grandma.

My boys with Great Grandma

Gladys Whitfield
b.20 Nov 1910 - d.13 Nov 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Swimming

I can't remember learning to swim, though I do remember swimming lessons, specifically taking the life-saving course at Pymble pool in the summer holidays while my younger siblings were learning to swim and going to the school swimming scheme in primary school. I know diving clicked for me when I was 9 and we were in Tahiti on our way to the US where my dad was going for a 4 month sabbatical. There is also the family story of sibling rivalry wherein I was going without floaties for the first time at 3 years old and my sister, 21 months younger than me, decided that meant she could too and plunged straight to the bottom of the ocean pool.

I have so many cherished childhood memories of swimming. Out beyond the breakers with my uncle and cousin, body surfing and ending up with a cossie full of sand on numerous beach camping holidays. Floating on airbeds in the Kangaroo River, again with our cousin. Canoeing and swimming in Smiths Lake and swimming out to help my sister and cousin who were having steering issues with their canoe. My sister and I swimming out to the pontoon in the middle of the bay at the resort in Crete and FREAKING our parents out because it was so far off shore, I was 14 (Dad swam out to "rescue" us, we beat him back to shore by a long shot and then he got disoriented on the way back and ended up off to billy-o around the shore-line). At 15 years old, going to the YMCA in Boulder Colorado on a Friday night for a family outing at the pool, in winter, and stopping off at Baskin and Robbins on the way home. Getting up at 6am to go with my Mum to the local pool to swim 1km before breakfast on school days during my HSC year.

By the time that last one was happening I had well and truly reached the point where I felt uncomfortable in a swimming costume in public. It was an effort to go to a public pool and take my clothes off, the less time there was between removing my shirt and getting in the water the better. I was about half the weight I am now.

When I had kids I made a conscious decision that my issues with my body would not stand in the way of them having the fun of beaches and swimming pools and all the things that I loved so much when I was a kid. I made that decision long before I'd even heard of Fat Acceptance and it was hard to follow through on. For a long time I had to have at least a day's notice before a trip to the local swimming pool, I needed to psych myself up to it and wake in the morning knowing that we were going. Going on beach camping holidays was an exercise in being tense and hyper self-conscious for a whole weekend, or a whole week. Even being in my in-law's backyard pool was challenging, not that any of my in-laws have ever said a single word to me about my weight, but still.

Me, David and Caitlin in Adam's parent's pool

Me with Dave and Cait in Adam's parent's pool

But I did it and I'm glad I did. For one thing I have photos like these and the memories to go with them.

Caitlin

Caitlin

David

David

Me

Me in my old Akubra

Me, Caitlin and Tom

Me, Tom and Caitlin

I had conversations with small children at beaches who informed me, as small children will, "You're fat!" and I found that I could respond with humour and be ok.

Me, David and Caitlin (and my mum's arm)

Me with Dave and Cait

I got to be the one teaching my kids how to watch the breaking waves and decide to either jump over or dive under. (With help from Grandma!)

Me, my Mum, David, Caitlin and Thomas

Grandma, me and kids in the surf

David boogie boarding

David boogie boarding


Last summer I tended to be the one behind the camera, but I was still there, at the beach and the pool, in my swimming costume and in the water.

Adam and Caitlin

Daddy and daughter

Adam and the kids.


This summer I plan to make sure I'm in the photos again.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Visiting Grandma

It's now 12 days till my Grandma's 100th birthday. Earlier this year we weren't sure there'd be a 100th to celebrate but here we are and plans are afoot. I popped down to the nursing home for a quick visit today mostly to say thank you for the card and money she'd sent me for my birthday, phone calls being too hard for her to manage now (her hearing is going). Mum had Grandma outside in the sunshine, one of the staff has managed to snaffle one of those special reclining chairs on wheels for her now that getting into the ordinary wheelchair is too difficult and it was lovely to see her out in the fresh air instead of stuck in her room.

She gets sleepy very easily now and with the added soporific of the warm sun it was a real effort for her to participate in conversation. Mostly she listens, and even that's a struggle, I'm sure she misses more than she lets on. We talked about the kids and the rest of the extended family, my singing lessons, how wonderful nursing home staff who really care are, about being uninterested in celebrities and about the relative merits of online news, print newspapers and TV news.

I was going to get Mum to take a photo of me with Grandma but decided not to ask as I know Grandma doesn't really like having cameras pointed at her all the time and she wasn't feeling too great. I asked what she wanted for her birthday and she said "All my children's love." You've got that already Grandma, along with that of all your grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Grandma at her 99th birthday party last year

Grandma at her 99th birthday party

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Trying to get the perfect photo

We went to visit my Grandma weekend before last and I wanted to get a photo of her with all the kids. All I can say is I hope one of my mum's shots turned out ok (that's who they're all looking at instead of looking at my camera).

animated gif maker
Animated gif maker

Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Fragments

Mommy's Idea
Hosted by Mrs4444.

Time for the end of week mental declutter that is Friday Fragments. Let's see what's floating about in here shall we?

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I did my 6th Kiva loan this week, which apparently makes me an average Kiva lender. Must do better. I'm going to stop buying Macca's coffee on work mornings and instead do a Kiva loan each month. There's a perfectly good coffee machine at work anyway.

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The church notice board that I was venting about on Thursday last week has gone from offensive to merely bemusing. It now reads "Without God the world is like a door off its hinges." I invite speculation as to meaning in the comments, my first thought was "can now be used as an improvised table-top?"

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There's a new Terry Pratchett book on the way, I've pre-ordered my copy of I Shall Wear Midnight and can't wait for more of Tiffany and the Nac Mac Feegle.

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This week there have been only two days on which I posted Creating order from chaos pics. What a slacker! Here are today's feeble efforts.

The notice board, which wasn't really that bad (oh yes, it's been worse in the past) but things kept falling off it because there were too many sheets of paper stuck on with the one pin.

Before and After
The notice boardNotice board culled

The cupboard behind the notice board. I do not like the way the shelves in this cupboard sag. It's freaky. I keep having visions of one of the shelves giving way and all the glassware and stoneware coming crashing down through the floor into the stairwell below. Probably on top of my head.

Too many breakable things piled on top of other breakable things.
Mugs, wine glasses 'n' stuff

I worked my way up from the bottom shelf to the top. When I got to the top shelf I looked at it, pulled out one bag of stuff, stood there holding it for a while. Then put it back and left it for another day.

Looking much less precarious.
There, that looks a little less precarious

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My Dad
My Dad

Dad took me out to lunch today. We went to a Japanese restaurant at Hornsby called Kibou which I had heard good things about and which Dad has been to often enough that he didn't have to specify which beer he wanted. It was goooooood. I'm a terrible food blogger though, I kept starting to eat before taking a photo!

Seaweed salad
Seaweed salad at Kibou

Gyoza
Gyoza at Kibou

Teriyaki chicken with salad, rice and miso
Teriyaki Chicken

Sashimi
Sashimi at Kibou

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I arrived home just as the kids were coming in from the bus stop and was greeted with much laughter and by this sight.

Guess we'll be needing new track pants then.
Tom arrives home

It seems they got a little over-stressed during sport. I'm so glad they have fully lined track pants and that he was able to find this highly amusing instead of totally traumatising!

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That's it from me today, I'm off to post a package containing Vegemite and Tim Tams to an unsuspecting blogger somewhere (hint, it's our lovely Friday Fragments host). Well, she knows the package is coming, but Vegemite is guaranteed to be surprising, forewarned or not! Don't forget to go visit other Fragmented Folks, head on over to Half-Past Kissin' Time to see what everyone's been up to this week.