Dear god the STRESS!!

The continuing saga of the talent quest - Caitlin, not content to rest on her laurels after her singing, has decided to enter with a friend in the dancing section as well. Now, this would be all fine and dandy had they made this decision a couple of weeks ago instead 4 days before they have to officially enter. We need the song chosen and the choreography done by Monday. The girls have just spent an hour agonising over song choice and are at present toying with the possibility of using Greased Lightning. Looks like Caitlin's friend will be coming over on Sunday too 'cause there's no way it'll all come together before her mum arrives to pick her up in about 10 minutes. I'm not so secretly hoping they decide it's in the too hard basket and give it a miss this year.

I'm off to see The Music of John Williams at the Opera House tonight. I should probably find something other than denim shorts and a tank top to wear.

Also, this marks the end of NaBloPoMo - I did it! Was it fun for you too?

Good day

It's been a bit of a lazy day today, Adam "worked" from home so I was still in my pj's when he took the kids to school. We did some planning together for getting things organised for the weeks ahead and bummed around the house doing nothing much.

After lunch we headed off to the school to watch Caitlin do her bit in the talent quest and you know, just quietly, she was fucking awesome. I was so very proud of her, she sang unaccompanied, her voice was strong and clear and I reckon she hit pretty much every note. On top of which, she, and all the other kids, were having to deal with a dodgy mic that kept dropping out every so often - they all managed incredibly well with that, just kept going without missing a beat.

The kids all had their hair cut this afternoon under varying degrees of duress. Caitlin wants hers to be long enough to sit on so she's adamant that only the bare minimum be trimmed off, David simply hates getting it done and winces every time the scissor come near. Tom had a new challenge for me this time, he decided he was immovably attached to a particular curl in the middle of his forehead. So I let him keep it.


Kudos to my wonderful hairdresser (who comes to my house to cut the kids' hair) on managing to make it look only slightly ridiculous!

There is lasagne cooking in the oven, the rainbow lorrikeets are on the back deck begging for food and all is well with the world. Good day :)

File pending

Still having fun with the beads

Here's what I'm going to give Caitlin as a congratulatory gift after her dance concerts on Saturday.



These next two don't have homes to go to yet. Caitlin wants to keep the blue one even though it's way too long for her.



Click the pics to embiggen, still need to figure out the camera (RTFM perhaps? :P), the colours don't come through quite right in the scans.

Sleepy

Hello. It's Tuesday. I usually weigh in on Tuesdays. But not today. I decided I didn't need to know :P

I cooked beef stroganoff for dinner. I cheated and used a packet recipe base. It was good.

I am tired.

Which would account for the short sentences.

*snores*

Random stuff

Tonight I hand fed the possum a slice of watermelon. A possum eating watermelon with great enthusiasm is a) noisy and b) so very cute.

I spent $400 on groceries today, I'd been buying only what we needed to get through the next day or so for the last 3 weeks and we were running out of just about everything. Now I shouldn't need to shop for non-perishables for another 3 weeks!

BBQ dinner on the front deck is a very nice way to spend the evening. Must do more often.

Caitlin is entering the school talent quest in the singing division, she plans on doing a rendition of Under Your Spell from the Buffy musical. This afternoon I found out the deputy principal is a Buffy fan, so at least one audience member will be appreciative :)

The kids have become very enamoured of Trogdor. I confess to a certain fondness for this particular Strong Bad email myself :)

Thatch-roofed cottage being burninated. By Caitlin.

Designed by David

Back in October I ended my birthday post with the promise of photos. So it's next month rather than tomorrow...close enough :P Here's what I wanted to share, my present from David, designed and made by him with some input from Tom (Tom chose the big bead in the centre) to go with a new top I'd just bought.


I did need to make it a little longer as the first version ended up with an extension chain and the wire ends were scratching the back of my neck so tonight, with David's approval, I re-strung it on a longer wire adding a few extra of the rectangular blue beads and now it's just right.

Pottery and politics

Today we voted then drove for 40 minutes to the leather supplies place where we spent more money than planned because there's no point going that far if you're not going to make it worth your while.

Then it was back home grabbing lunch on the way, we picked up some stuff and headed up to Gosford to the Huscarls meet. Today was a craft day rather than training, we had 12kg of clay to play with. People were making oil burning lamps, bowls, jugs and cups. Adam and I managed a very nice ewer (him) and 5 cups (2 him, 3 me), so if they all survive the firing process we have a full set for the family. Caitlin went crazy and made 4 pieces herself, the boys didn't get involved but I reckon they'd have fun with it if I get some clay for us to play with at home.

We got so caught up in watching the election coverage that we forgot to put the kids to bed! It was nearly 10:00pm before they were tucked in - oops! I'm sitting here watching on the ABC as Howard arrives to give his concession speech...here goes...and it's done. Hallelujah.

Samantha on the defensive

Stand-off on the front deck. Jack and Sam are NOT friends, in fact, they fight like, well, cats. Complete with yowling and fur flying. It's great at 3am under our bed....

Day 22 and I'm getting desperate.

Therefore, in the spirit of NoBloShoeMo, only all at once instead of one pair each day, I give you my shoe collection.


The notable thing about this picture is that it contains every pair of shoes I own, in pairs, tidy and accessible. That would be because of the brand new shoe rack on which they are arrayed.

Useless facts about my shoes: there is one pair which has never been worn; there is one pair that has been worn only once; there is one pair which I have had since 1992; 9 out of the 19 pairs are Colorado brand; and finally, I HATE pink but wear those thongs when going swimming anyway because I can't be bothered getting round to buying another pair.

Blergh

I've been dragging myself around today saying "I don't feel so good" and feeling like a bit of a fraud as I was pretty sure it was just lack of sleep. I got through reading groups and I was there to man the uniform shop for kindy orientation. I ended up having a lie down this afternoon before heroically heading out to McDonalds in search of dinner. Dinner was duly eaten and about 20 minutes later it became clear that it's not just sleep deprivation I'm suffering from, but I feel a bit better now if rather shaky and empty :P

Early bedtime for me tonight.

Weigh-in week 14

I copped a gain of 0.7kg this week, total loss back to 7.8kg. Things should be better in the next couple of weeks with Adam not traveling so I should be back to the 10kg mark pretty quickly. There's no way I'm reaching my 15kg mini-goal by Christmas though, ah well, it's not a race and I'll get there eventually.

Another necklace

I'm having fun with these and I'm running out of people to make them for. Anyone want a necklace?

This one suffered a slight hitch in the making process, I had all the beads laid out on the beading tray ready to thread onto the wire when Jack hopped up onto the bench and decided he needed to see what I was doing. He walked straight across the tray, which slipped, so he jumped. Beads everywhere. Mostly on the tray still fortunately. Idiot cat.

I is ded of cute

The time is 10:00pm. We've already done 3 rounds of goodnight hugs and kisses. Tom had a nap this afternoon so he's really not that tired tonight.

A small voice calls from down the hall "Muuuum..."

"What?"

"I'm very huggable..."

He's right, he IS very huggable.

We have Wii

When Adam was away at the conference in Amsterdam recently his name was drawn from a hat to win a Wii. The criteria for getting your name in the hat in the first place was to be one of those still in attendance right at the bitter end of proceedings, so I guess it was by way of compensation, or something. Anyway, today he brought it home with him (he had it posted to the office). There is, of course, much excitement. The kids have all played bowling on Wii Sports, David scored 224 pins and is mightily pleased with himself, and now Tom and Caitlin are playing tennis - or trying to anyway. The first thing Tom did when playing tennis was to throw the remote across the room - eek!

David is currently posting a boast about his bowling score on his brand new blog. Which you aren't allowed to read without an invite because he's only 10 and I'm not letting the net loose on him :P I think I may have found a way to get him writing regularly! I've suggested a blog a couple of times in the past but he always turned his nose up at the idea, however, this afternoon Caitlin was wanting me to post more of her Doctor Moo drawings and I suggested that she should have her own blog to post them on instead. So we signed her up (nope, you can't read hers either!) and Dave suddenly developed an interest in having one for himself. Should've thought of that before.

Now to drag the kids away from the Wii and get them headed for bed - wish me luck, I'm gonna need it!

Party hard, pay the next day

Oh my poor aching feet and knees! HA! You thought this was going to be about a hangover didn't you? Well, sorry to disappoint :P Although there was cider and sparkling shiraz involved last night the vast majority of liquid passing my lips was water. I think I drank something close to 3L in 4.5 hours. I needed it I tell you! Let me explain....

The P&C social: take one school hall, 9 big folding tables, 64 blue plastic chairs, approximately 18m of paper table cloth (the finding of which was an epic in itself requiring multiple phone calls and the dispatching of a child on a bike to fetch the P&C storeroom keys - see, it wasn't to be found in the canteen at all, not even on the third thorough search), 12 bunches of helium balloons, someone's brother who happens to own DJ kit and is kind enough to come and play music for us for free, parents from the school who are ballroom dancers of the trophy winning and teaching others kind and, most importantly, a whole bunch of parents kid-free for the night. Add BYO foodage and alcohol. Mix judiciously and PARTY!!!!!!!

Heheh.

We had fun. Well, I know I had fun, I presume all the other people dancing and drinking and eating and talking and singing had fun too, at any rate they looked like they were having fun :)

Out of the 4.5 hours we spent at the social I think I spent approximately 3.5 hours dancing and I'm not talking standing on the spot tapping the feet, oh no, I'm talking really getting into it and not caring what anyone else thought dancing. I presume I spent the larger part of the night with a bright red face and I know I was sweating so much I looked like I'd been in the rain, which - icky much, but hey, I was having FUN and that doesn't happen nearly often enough.

One teeny little regret, why, oh why did I decide wearing high heels would be a good idea? And why, oh why did I not remove said heels EARLY in the night instead of waiting till the last half-hour? When I got up this morning I could barely walk, getting up the stairs was a challenge and I have sore muscles from neck to toe. Painful, but worth it all the same.

Today we went to my grandmother's place for her birthday lunch, she turns 97 on Tuesday. The kids were behaved beautifully and I think she really enjoyed seeing everyone. I've been hesitant in the past to try and see her in her little unit with all the kids in tow, but with 2 Nintendo DS units, some books to read and the beading supplies as distractions all was well.

This evening we had the pleasure of the company of Carol and Liz and their 3 girls who used to be our neighbours when we lived in Marsfield. We hadn't seen them for 2 years so there was lots of catching up to do. Good food, good friends, good time :) Wish we could have chatted for longer but being a school night and having kids to get to bed they left soon after 8:30pm. Won't be leaving it for 2 years next time!

Sometimes life is good.

In which my car gets a good workout

Trips today up the super steep hill at the bottom of which we live:
1. Caitlin to dance dress rehearsal at 8:30am
2. Me to dress rehearsal to change her hair do at 9:30am
3. Back to pick up from dress rehearsal at 11:00am
4. Caitlin to dress rehearsal again at 2:30pm
5. Me to shops at 3:00pm
6. Final pick up from dress rehearsal at 3:30pm
7. Take David's friend home at 4:00pm
8. Up to the school to help set up for the P&C social tonight at 5:00pm
And last but not least
9. Back to the school for said social at 7:15pm

I'm off to eat dinner, shower and dress and I have 50 minutes to do so!

Blood, B12 and beading

Today at school Tom got bitten on the thigh by one of his classmates, she drew blood and all. His teacher assured me that it was entirely unprovoked and I do know this child has been quite difficult all year, but biting!? Haven't had that before. It happened just before the end of day bell and phone calls to the parents were being made as we left the sickbay - an ice pack and sympathy was all that was needed. I was asked whether Tom was up to date on his tetanus shots (which he is) and I had to restrain myself from saying I thought I ought to be more worried about rabies.

I finally went and got my 6 weeks overdue B12 shot today and this time I wrote in my diary when the next one is due so I don't do yet another cycle of "Gee I'm feeling run down and grumpy, wonder when my B12 is due....oh. Last month. That would explain it." Hopefully this will give me the energy I need to get through the manic November/December roller coaster ahead. Yay for functioning red blood cells!

I've made some more necklaces, I'm quite pleased with them too. I could not for the life of me make the camera take decent pics so you get scans instead. I think I need to learn how to use the camera.



David and Tom have been creating too, Dave's made a necklace for his cousin and Tom's made earrings for his teacher, I do love craft with a purpose :)

Beware, content free post ahead

Ok, I'm not claiming that makes this one different in any way. I just couldn't think of a title :P

Hey, it's the 15th today! That means I'm half-way through NaBloPoMo. Have I bored you all to death yet? (Fishing for compliments? Never! Don't know what you mean....)

I took the kids shopping for shoes tonight. After Caitlin's ballet lesson. Which finishes at 6:45pm. And then we had dinner out. And got home at 9:30. I'm typing while they get changed for bed. Tomorrow is going to be interesting.

Kisses, cuddles and tucking in time, here I come!

It's too EARLY!!!!

My kids have taken to wandering around the house singing Christmas carols and when I got home last night Tom and Caitlin had dug out the animated music playing stuffed reindeer and Santa. I made them put them back in the cupboard till December because I'm mean like that. Besides, I have an unreasonable desire to hang on to my sanity for just a little bit longer and a dozen repetitions of "We wish you a merry Christmas" while I'm trying to make lunches and get the kids to eat breakfast is guaranteed to drive me barmy!

Other signs that Christmas is approaching:
Caitlin has started her letter to Santa. In fact I think the first draft is done and she's ready to do the good copy.
David read us Twas The Night Before Christmas tonight.
And my front hall has bags of fairy lights strewn about the place waiting to be put out in the garden.

Of course in three weeks time I'll be writing the post titled "Help, I'm not ready!", so perhaps it's not too early and I should seize the opportunity to get myself really organised. Wonder if I can get all my pressie shopping done by the end of the month....

Weigh-in week 13

I managed a loss of 0.9kg this week which brings me back to 8.5kg lost. I'm going to stick with Core for a couple more weeks at least, I'm feeling much more relaxed about my eating so it seems to be working quite well for now.

I was at the school for half the day today. I'm getting a bit sick of that place :P I'm there most of tomorrow too but Thursday I get all to myself and I'm planning on doing some Christmas shopping so I've been working on my gift list, it's hard! I need inspiration. Anyone got a brilliant idea or two for an autistic 9 year old boy? My nephew has his birthday in December as well so I need double pressie ideas. The only things I know for certain he likes are Bananas in Pyjamas and Adam's little red convertible, when he comes to our place he collects the Bananas dvd from the bookshelf and, when thwarted by his mum in his attempts to watch TV, heads downstairs to the garage and sits in the car. Maybe he'd like a car racing type game. Hot Wheels track or something.

DIY Munchkin cards

This afternoon the kids decided to make their own Munchkin cards. This is one of Tom's creations - a Level 20 Tooth Fairy, if you defeat it you get 4 treasures and go up 3 levels, but should you lose the fight the bad stuff that happens is "pulls out your teeth, lose a level".



If you're trying to remember why this seems vaguely familiar it'll be because you've read Hogfather.

Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest.

Adam got back from Amsterdam this morning so the day started early with the distribution of loot among the kids. The boys got mini remote control helicopters, no I don't know what that has to do with Holland either, and Caitlin scored a very pretty Swarovski crystal pendant. I got tea from the British Museum and there was also a haul of books on various things medieval - anglo saxon crafts, celtic and norse designs, and saxon and viking artefacts - and a set of dvds titled Masterpieces of the British Museum.

Breakfast followed, eventually. Tom had been promised maccas brekky so I did the drive through thing and brought back hotcakes and muffins. I do like the sausage and egg muffins but the hotcakes leave a lot to be desired, Adam makes much better ones, so I must remember not to make rash promises to Tom in future.

Dave and Dad headed off to join in the tail end of a Huscarls weekend camp while I took the other two shopping. Caitlin needed sleepers as I was not keen on trying to re-fit the piercing studs that I'd had some no small difficulty removing yesterday morning (she'd been tracking the 6 week count-down on the calendar and couldn't wait to change her earrings) and Tom had $50 birthday money to spend. We came home with sleepers and frangipani studs, a bionicle and a remote control dragon. Oh, and grocery shopping too, though that is not important of course ;-)

Lunch was downed in a bit of a hurry and then it was off to the school where I was co-ordinating a grounds working bee. As our very wonderful General Assistant (who is also a parent with kids at the school) was there to do the actual organising of people, all I had to do was unlock a few padlocks and delegate people to do jobs on the list provided. I swept and shoveled sodden leaves and mulch for about an hour and a half after which my shoulders and my still sore fingers (didn't tell you about hurting my hand did I? I fell and wrenched back the fingers on my left hand on Thursday, week before last, and well...it hurt...lots) were protesting loudly so I switched to wandering around chatting and looking busy instead. We were there from 2:00 to 5:40pm so there was quite a lot of looking busy going on. Anyhoo, the school has tidy playgrounds, lots of new plants planted and drains that will actually drain now, so it's all good.

I really didn't want to cook dinner tonight. I was thiiiisss close to begging Adam to conjure food from somewhere but from somewhere I found the reserves to grill the hamburger patties I'd bought this morning, cut up some tomatoes and lettuce and open a tin each of pineapple rings and beetroot. Um, yeah, it was such a production...epic I tell you! And we had hamburgers for dinner - YUM!

After dinner I made the executive decision that as Adam had missed so many bedtimes in the last 2 weeks it was clearly his turn to get the kids ready for bed while I watched The 4400 on dvd (yes, Brendan, you were right, I'm hooked). The last child was tucked in at about 9:35pm...only one hour past his bedtime...ah well, delegation doesn't always work quite as it ought!

And now I'm going to bed...

No, wait...bugger. I don't have the kids' uniforms ready for tomorrow yet.

Right, uniforms first, then bed.

G'night!

Kangaroo paw

I love sitting on my front deck looking at the garden and for the last few weeks I've been meaning to grab my camera the minute the sun came out and get a shot of the kangaroo paws. And here they are. My gardener is very proud of these, apparently they don't do well in Sydney. But then my garden is anathema to most things that are supposed to do well here, so I guess it all balances out in the end ;-)

Fans4writers

Fellow Browncoat JenskiJen is on holidays in the US...sort of. While she was in LA, the Writers Guild of America went on strike. And Jen, being Jen, volunteered to help out the fandom support campaign. The full story is on her LJ but to save you the trouble of an extra click you can read it all here ;-)

Writers on Strike - Fans4Writers Campaign
You would think that when I travel all the way from Australia to the US to go on a holiday, I'd just relax and have fun, right? Um... well, see... while I was in LA, the Writers Guild of America went on strike. And I kinda volunteered to help out the fandom support campaign. And boy, has it steamrolled!

If you don't know about the strike, watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ55Ir2jCxk

In response to the strike, we have formed Fans4Writers.

Fans4Writers is a movement born from fans of Joss Whedon, at WHEDONesque.com. As supporters of the people behind the scenes, who develop and write the stories that have meant so much to so many, we wanted to do something tangible to show them that we support the Writers Guild of America strike.

Our first foray out to the picket lines was to deliver pizza to the writers at Universal Studios, to feed the bodies that have fed our minds. You can read about it at http://whedonesque.com/ws/

It quickly became clear and necessary for the effort to encompass more than a single fandom. As such, Fans4Writers is not just for Whedon fans. It is not just for "genre" fans or television fans. This effort belongs to fans of ALL striking writers.

So, what are we doing?

The fans4writers.com site is currently being fine tuned, and will have all the details of our campaign, as well as resources to educate and spread the word.

What kind of things will the campaign include?

DIRECT SUPPORT

Through our "Food for Thought" program, we will organize and facilitate the delivery of provisions to writers on the picket lines. In addition, fans will gather to join their favorite writers on the picket lines.

MORAL SUPPORT

Through a planned ad in Variety or other major outlet, we will tell the industry -- and the public -- in no uncertain terms that we support the writers' right to a fair deal.

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Should the strike be of any significant duration, we will contribute to the Guild's strike funds to assist affected writers.

FOUNDATION SUPPORT

At the conclusion of the strike, any remaining funds will be donated to the Writers Guild Foundation to support its charitable and educational activities.

While the studios might not be prepared to value the writers highly enough to offer them a fair deal, the fans will commit themselves, their time, their energy, and their money to show just how highly WE value them. For as long as the strike lasts.

Our message is simple - "Don't write until it's right."

WHAT CAN I DO TO BE INVOLVED?

Check out fans4writers.com (currently under construction). In addition to the details of the "Food for Thought" and other campaigns, we will inclulde many ways that you can help, from boycotts to postcard campaigns, and much more. We have a Paypal link set up should you wish to donate.

Spread the word about the campaign!

We want to be able to support all writers, but we understand that some fandoms would prefer to take the lead themselves. With this in mind, we are structuring our fan support campaign in such a way that individual fandoms can use the formula and conduct their own campaigns. We would ask that each fandom who chooses to do this select a campaign head, and liaise with us. This way, all writers will be supported, and no picket line is neglected.

If you would like to volunteer to help us deliver "Food for Thought" to the picket lines in Los Angeles or New York City, please email us at fans4writers@gmail.com, and leave your contact details (including phone number and availability).

If you would like to become involved and organise an affiliate campaign, please have the campaign head contact us, so that we can support each other.

Remember, without the writers, there would be no fandoms. And without us, there would be no studios.

Yours in solidarity,

Fans4Writers.com

Email: fans4writers@gmail.com
LiveJournal: http://community.livejournal.com/wga_supporters/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=19177889752
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/fans4writers

Three things

1. My daughter came out of her ballet class with tears in her eyes tonight because she "got a bit worried" when her teacher told the class she believed they would all be ready to move up from Grade 2 to Grade 3 next year.
   
   I pointed out that this was a good thing but Caitlin was not convinced. She's been doing ballet for 5 years now but doesn't believe she's any good at it. This is the third year in a row that I've had this conversation. After much persuasion we've agreed to trust the teacher's judgement, after all she's been right about Caitlin being ready to go up a grade the last two years!
   
   Caitlin rarely tells me much about what goes on inside her head so when this kind of thing happens I realise that there are probably a whole lot of things she worries about that I never find out about. I'm not good at making time for one-on-one talks and I really should do so.



2. We had dinner at my mum's place tonight and when we'd finished the meal David read to us. Getting David to read aloud used to be like getting blood out of a stone so it was a very great pleasure indeed to hear his rendition of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
   
   Reading aloud to the family is the first step in a series of activities which are designed to help Dave confront one of his greatest fears. Anything that hints of performing for other people is anathema for David and to stand up and read or perform in front of the school assembly comes under the heading of worst nightmare. Given that each class runs 2 assemblies a year involving performances by the whole class this is something that he does have to do on occasion. David decided that reading to the family, although not completely stress free, was a manageable first step and I am really proud of him for being willing to tackle this and also for his lovely expressive reading.



3. Tom gives the best hugs ever!
   

I love my children more than words can tell. They are precious and wonderful. They drive me to distraction and they fill my heart with joy. Yeah, I think I'll keep 'em.

I is tired.

Today was one of my busy Wednesdays. Every so often my volunteering duties at the school align to give me a day like today.

It began with reading groups in Caitlin's class at 9:00am which I left early to go to reading groups in Tom's class at 9:30am. Then at 10:15am I went and collected Uniform Pool stuff from the office and and spent a short time pottering about in the uniform shop before beginning my Canteen shift at 11:00am.

We were down one volunteer at canteen because no-one has stepped up to fill the vacancy that came up when the mum I'm usually on with couldn't do it any more. Fortunately the morning shift had managed to get pretty much all the food preparation done and the canteen manager and I were able to get through everything ok, we were putting the last 2 lunches in the class baskets just as the bell went. However, at the end of the shift I was stuck with doing on my own the work that is usually shared by two and instead of finishing at 1:30pm or soon after I was there till 2:20pm.

With only half an hour to go before the end of the school day there was no point in going home. So I stayed. I was at the school the whole bloomin' day. Didn't even manage to nick off to maccas and grab a decent coffee at any point.

mmmmm coffffeeeee.....

Thinking differently & Weigh-in week 12

There's this thing that happens when every thought you have about food is about restrictions, when there's a moral overtone to decision making, when all the time the idea of failure is lurking in the back of your mind. It drives you slightly nuts.

I was starting to feel like I was fighting with myself all the time, it was all about what I shouldn't do, what I couldn't have, what I ought to avoid. Switching to Core has helped a little, much less of the counting and calculating and having to assess whether I could "afford" to eat even something that I knew to be perfectly healthy. It wasn't enough though, I could still feel the rebellious me waiting for a moment of inattention, poised to spring into the driver's seat and take me careering down the path of binge eating, takeaway dinners and a total lack of vegetables. This past week I was VERY distracted apparently and it has been less than wonderful on the food front. The scales at weigh-in this morning showed just how bad, 2.5kg gained. Bugger. That brings my total back to 7.6kg lost. Plus, I felt really crummy.

So I've been mulling it over and I think I'm beginning to find my way towards a solution, these aren't new ideas, but this is the first time I've felt the truth of them rather than just giving a token nod and not actually taking them on board.

I need to turn it round so that I'm concentrating on positives instead of negatives. I need to convince myself that there is no forbidden food, that I can in fact have whatever I want, whenever I want on one proviso - the food I eat must be feeding hunger and not just emotion.

I want to get to the point where I only eat food that will make me feel good for longer than the time it rests in my mouth. It must be the food my body really needs. Otherwise there's nothing to be gained by eating it. I need to be engaged in a process of finding the right answer to my body's and my mind's demands for comfort.

There are questions to ask myself before eating: Am I actually hungry? Will this food satisfy this hunger? Will I feel good 20 minutes after eating this food? If I can answer yes to all of those questions then well and good. If the answer to any of those question is no then the next step is to work out what's really driving the urge to eat and find other ways to satisfy that drive, because if hunger isn't the problem, food won't fix it and I just end up with something else to feel miserable and stressed about (or possibly even physically sick, which NEVER helps).

In the spirit of baby steps, this week I plan on concentrating on the first question, "Am I actually hungry?", and see if I can't get my head around the whole listen to your hunger signals thing. It's something I haven't been willing to tackle up to now, so I'm feeling quite excited to discover that I'm ready to go there.

I want to gain health, fitness, energy and enjoyment of physical activity for its own sake. I want contentment, peace and to have enough emotional reserves to be the mother, wife, daughter and friend I aspire to be. I want to spend more time feeling capable and less time floundering around barely scraping through the day.

And I'm going to have those things.

I almost wish I still lived in Marsfield

I spent the day with my almost 97 year old grandmother today. She's kind of amazing, still in very good health for her age, mentally sharp as a tack (regularly beats the socks off my mum playing scrabble) and always has something new and unexpected to tell me when I visit.

I was telling her that my good friend Ariane popped out a baby girl this morning (welcome to the world Elissa!) and so we got to talking about names and how so many of the names from her generation are no longer being used. Among other names, she mentioned Isabelle, which is one of the few that are still in use and I said we knew a number of Isabelles. And my very proper grandmother confessed to me that she and her friends used to tease Isabelles by saying "Is a bell necessary on a bike?". Hidden depths! LOL

We went down to the dining room for lunch and sat at Grandma's usual table with Betty and Jack. Betty was full of the news that Maxine McKew was going to be coming to the retirement village to talk to the residents. They'll be a tough audience I imagine! Next was the possibility being discussed in the media that John Howard may lose his seat to Maxine. I took great glee in clasping my hands in supplication and intoning "Oh dear god - please!" to the ceiling. All three looked at me in horror. "Oh, no! It would be terrible!" said Betty. I grinned, unrepentant, and assured them that it would be wonderful. Grandma shook her head in resignation and Betty said "Never mind, we'll still talk to you." Then we switched to talking about the Melbourne Cup :)

We used to live in Bennelong, it would almost be worth still being squished into a teeny townhouse just to have the pleasure of voting for Maxine. Almost, but not quite. I shall resign myself to placing my ineffectual vote against Ruddock instead.

Jipped

David just won the game of Super Munchkin we were playing by killing some Level 1 Thugs. There is no justice.

Also while we were playing guess who squeezed in between the fly screen and the closed kitchen window and succeeded in dislodging the screen from its frame altogether?

My daughter wishes me to share with you.

Oh yes, 9 year old humour, it is funny :D

Caitlin drew this while I was watching the episode Blink, I suspect it was by way of therapy of sorts after she'd inadvertently seen a few minutes of the show.

Now I just have to persuade her to do an entire comic strip's worth of drawings and we can get some really groan-worthy stuff happening....

I really should fix that fly-screen

There's a possum in the house!

It wasn't the least bothered by being caught in the act. All the lights were on and the kids were watching TV in the next room, so when I heard clattering in the kitchen I assumed they were raiding for after dinner snacks. When no-one answered my call of "What are you up to?" I dragged myself away from my blog reading and headed down the hall to the kitchen. No kids. Ah, the cat's in the sink. Wait a minute, that's not Samantha!

I was sure it would bolt back out the hole the moment it saw me but no! It wasn't giving up that easily, there was bread...just over there.... So I grabbed the camera.

Then came the persuading the possum to head back out through the window. I'm standing there knowing that if I'm silly enough to actually touch it bad things will happen, they have teeth you know, also, I've read the book, I want my house intact. The possum looks at me, I point at the hole in the fly screen, "Out you go", it looks at the window...and then back at me, "OUT!"....there's a brief stand-off and staring contest...and out it went. Good possum! Heheh :)

Back outside. Actually I really should clean that fly screen too!

Aaaaaargh!

Today I am wearing my "You Are Here" tshirt from thinkgeek. Caitlin's friend asked me if it was the milky way. Yes, and that's where the Earth is I say pointing to the spot indicated on the shirt. Then she asked me if I knew what was in the middle, so I said yes I did, did she know? And she told me, in all sincerity, that in the middle of the milky way there is a big special cross. Um, no, there's a big black hole says I. And in the middle of that there's a cross says she. She's seen a "documentary" says her mum. No that's not documentary, that's fantasy says I before my politeness circuit can kick in.

I am seized with an urge to offer to teach cosmology for kids to their class.

*cries*

New Joss TV show on the way!

Best News Ever! Joss Whedon Spills Exclusive Deets on His New Series
Kristin at E! Online reports:

Whedon's new Fox series, called Dollhouse, stars Miss Eliza Dushku, best known as Faith to you Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans. And this show isn't just a pilot. It's already been given a seven-episode commitment by Fox. Woo!

Here's how Fox describes the series:

Echo (Eliza Dushku) [is] a young woman who is literally everybody's fantasy. She is one of a group of men and women who can be imprinted with personality packages, including memories, skills, language—even muscle memory—for different assignments. The assignments can be romantic, adventurous, outlandish, uplifting, sexual and/or very illegal. When not imprinted with a personality package, Echo and the others are basically mind-wiped, living like children in a futuristic dorm/lab dubbed the Dollhouse, with no memory of their assignments—or of much else. The show revolves around the childlike Echo's burgeoning self-awareness, and her desire to know who she was before, a desire that begins to seep into her various imprinted personalities and puts her in danger both in the field and in the closely monitored confines of the Dollhouse.

Go read the whole thing, there's a Joss interview there too.

More from Michael Ausiello at the Ausiello Report

Well, well, well :D and Tim Minear is going to be involved too.

Link-fest No.1

Not sure how often I'll post one of these, probably whenever I've collected a decent number of links and before they get too out of date.

On Alas! A blog Myca links to a series of essays titled "Christians in the Hand of an Angry God" posted by bradhicks on his LJ. (The LJ posts are 3 years old but still well worth a read.)

blue milk is asking "What does a feminist mother look like?", subsequent posts on her blog have some of the answers she's received. I may get around to posting my own response eventually.

Kate Harding has a post on Shapely Prose titled "Reality vs. relativism" about dieting and weight loss surgery.

Some of my friends had a great time at the Hub convention on the weekend, Leish has a recount on her LJ: Muhneys and Mcnabs and kangaroos, oh my!